FRIDAY FUNNY

Total Eclipse of the Heart: Literal Video Version

Put this on full screen mode for full effect.  I laughed my butt off.

(Thanks PB, that was the best chocolate chip cookie I ever ate…)

YIPPEE… KINDA

So I had my follow-up visit with Jeff the Cute Podiatrist this evening.

He took two more x-rays and the fracture is very nearly healed and he was happy with my progress. You can barely see the crack at all.  He said that I was fortunate that it was a nice clean break in “a good place” if there is such a thing.  He said it’s a large, hollow bone that, if kept stable, can heal very nicely.  And mine appears to be doing just that.  We discussed the possiblility of physical therapy and he didn’t see a need for it.  He thinks that I was walking nicely on it without the boot (from the exam room to the X-ray room.)  He said if I were older and wasn’t healing as well, he would recommend it but in my case, didn’t think it’s necessary.  That’s fine with me.  I’m tired missing out on things, extra hours out of my day sitting inside with professional people telling me to do shit isn’t something I would be happy about.

I need to wear my boot for two more weeks.  Then if I’m comfortable, I can switch to a good tennis shoe or go back to wearing my hard-soled shoe for another week and then the tennis shoe.  No driving while I’m still in the boot. 😦  But no 10-hour days at work at least until I go back and see him on June 25.

I’m pretty happy with this.  Especially walking crutchless and no OT.  Poor PD though, still playing chauffeur.  And it breaks my heart that it’s going to be that much longer before I can plan a trip to NY to see the JuJu’s.  But as long as I keep healing the way I am, I can stop worrying about the possibility of surgery and a real cast and crutches and all that crap.  It was nagging at me in the back of my mind.  So I’m relieved in that respect.

Thanks for the prayers and putting up with my whining.

There’s another storm coming through and I think I’ll get off here now.

REMOVER, REMOVAL, WHATEVER

Finding myself with some wonderful free time this morning, I decided a pedicure might be in order.  I’m seeing the doctor about my foot later in the week and would like to have presentable toes this time.  If you recall, last time I only had polish on one foot.  Yeah, classy, huh.  Anyway, I happened to notice on my bottle of nail polish remover, a little red logo proclaiming “Contains Bitrex” and underneath it says “Ingestion Deterrent.”  Well, I’m thinking a coupla’ things, not the least of which is why in the HELL would you need to ADD anything to a bottle of acetone-based  pungent chemicals that are strong enough to dissolve hardened lacquer to keep someone from drinking the stuff??? And the other thing I’m  thinking is how damn bad must Bitrex taste to make nail polish remover taste even WORSE???

I’ll let you ponder that for a moment while I’m enjoying listening to PD bust a gut, laughing at a bird…

Last night after the Penguins game, (which I kind of watched actually even- mostly because I didn’t want to feel left out and because my beloved neighbor, Crazy Harold went to all the trouble to carry his TV out onto his patio because it was a beautiful evening and all the neighbors were all hyped up for the game.) we had a fire and cooked out and sat around and laughed until the wee hours of the morning.  When we do this, more often than not, the embers from the fire are still quite hot the following morning, which would be today.  Just now, as PD and I were enjoying our coffees on the porch and I was over at Mark’s reading and commenting, PD started howling and sputtering coffee all over creation.  When he calmed down enough to speak intelligibly, he said that a bird had evidently had his eye on a tasty-looking morsel and had lit on the white ash pile, only to immediately do a sprawling back flip, not once but twice, and high-tail it out of there in a major rush. (Okay, those were my words, not his, but that’s what he meant to say…) It must have looked like a scene out of a cartoon, only the bird wasn’t screaming and his eyes weren’t bugging out amidst a cloud of feathers and smoke.  But it was worth a good laugh, mostly for PD but his laugh was contagious so I got a good second-hand laugh myself.

I’m sure it was funnier yet to him in light of the fact that he was totally irritated on a quiet Sunday morning, (earlier today) having to dismantle our downspouting on the back corner of the house to free a trapped starling that’s been terrorizing him all week.  (You remember awhile back when PD had that vendetta against the squirrel who took up residence in the walls of our house?  For weeks he was a madman, hellbent and bleary-eyed on capturing that varmint who woke him up all hours of the night, scratching and scrambling and gawd-knows-what-else inside the bedroom wall, a few feet from PD’s sleeping head. I still have images of him, in true Elmer Fudd-form, crouched with a BB gun, waiting for the squirrel to emerge from his mystery entrance/exit in and out of our attic…) The damn starlings had built a nest in the eaves above the bedroom window and once again, PD has had to endure chirping and rustling noises interrupting his slumber.  I’m sure it seems to him that the forces of nature are (once again) conspiring against him and his need for shut-eye.  Last night when we discovered the bird in the spouting, he hauled out the garden hose and was trying to drown flush out the bird by aiming the hose at the top of the gutter, hoping it would encourage the bird to I-don’t-know-what, I was kind of busy trying to enjoy myself.

I’m not sure if I’ve completed the story or not, this post has gotten ahead of me.  Let me know if I’ve left out any important details needed to make this all make sense.

May you all have a safe and enjoyable Memorial Day weekend and be sure to take some time to remember all those who have given the ultimate gift so that you and I can enjoy our freedom.

(Note: Certain aspects of this post have been “embellished” for effect.  My husband is neither psychotic nor homicidal.  Nor does he wish to have animal/fowl activists protesting and camped out on our front lawn.)

FOR THE HECK OF IT

You know how sometimes you just come across something and it triggers a memory and you laugh and think, holy cow this would be a hoot to put on the old blog?

No?

Well, I did and it did and I am and it is.  For me and I hope you too.

Once upon a time, long, long ago and far away, my bff Kate and I attended a concert.  On the bill were Johnny Lee, Mickey Gilley and the Urban Cowboy Band.  The concert doesn’t stick in my mind as much as the After-Concert shenanigans.  Oh, and when Kate and I got together in our younger days, there were always shenanigans.  You have no idea…

Anyway, I don’t recall the exact circumstances, but bff Kate and I found ourselves invited to join the party on Mickey‘s tour bus.  Mickey didn’t invite us but at least one member of the Urban Cowboy Band did.  And that would have been Dwight, the bass player.  Yeah, I’ve always had a soft spot for bass players.  I got a cheek kiss and an autograph before being invited to the party.

(I need to say, that just now, searching all the links I found for the Urban Cowboy band, I have yet to find a bass player named Dwight.  So he either had a short stint with the band or there’s just no record of him. At any rate, I still have the autograph… so I don’t think I dreamt it.)

So, not long at all after stepping up into the bus we noticed that the entertainment had already commenced in the form of a video playing on a screen above the dashboard that I seem to recall as a popular one at the time entitled “Debbie Does Some City that starts with D.”  Rather than flee, we talked the party people into replacing that tape with [what the heck is the name of the movie with Bill Murray and the gopher???] Anyway, that one.  Not Groundhog day, the other one. I always get them mixed up.  Ah, Caddy Shack! Somehow that seemed to add a little more (haha) class to the whole adventure.

So we hung out there for awhile, had a beer (I still have that Schlitz can somewhere) and I don’t remember much else except that Mickey came out from a room in the back for some reason and all I could see was a huge flash when the light reflected on his diamond pinky ring.  I also remember that Johnny was nowhere to be found.  Rumors at the time had circulated that he and Charlene Tilton (of Dallas fame) were on the skids and he wasn’t in much of a party mood.

So there you have it, a little trip down One Wink’s memory lane…

FINALLY…

… this awesome band is getting the recognition they deserve.  Not that Leno is the be-all and end-all of arenas for bands to get noticed, but…  it’s a decent place to get seen.  Months ago, the Kings played on SNL  and still weren’t seen by many people I know.  Maybe now.

This song is a good one, but far from my favorite Top Five.  You should check them out if you haven’t already.

I was pretty happy for them yesterday when they announced One Million followers on Facebook.

Kings of Leon – “Use Somebody” on Leno 5/15/09 (TheAudioPerv.com)

NEW VERSION

The Airborne Toxic Event has released a new version of their Sometime Around Midnight video.  I can’t believe it’s been out there for over a month and I just happened to find it.  Why didn’t they call and tell me when it came out?

Sometime Around Midnight (Video) – The Airborne Toxic Event

LIMPER’S LAMENT

People keep asking me how my foot is coming along.  I don’t know what to tell them without going into the whole big long story.  Which is this:

The x-rays show that I broke my foot.  It hurt initially but about the time I left the ER, the pain went away.  It didn’t swell and never bruised until day 3.  Three days later the bruise was gone.  I tried using the crutches for 2 days but my left wrist hurt so bad I gave up on that crutch.  I wore the Ace bandage and the hard-soled shoe they gave me at the hospital.  A couple weeks later I went to the podiatrist and he took more x-rays and fitted me with an elastic sleeve for my foot and a boot to stabilize it.  He said to continue to use the Ace bandage and crutches.  Ice, if I feel it to be necessary.  Come back on the 28th.  The elastic sleeve cuts off the circulation in my ankle and hurts.  I use the bandage and the boot and the crutch and try to stay off it as much as possible. I cannot measure pain I do not have and I do not have x-ray vision.  I am not a physician.

So people ask me how it’s coming along, if it still hurts, how long do I have to wear that thing, etc., etc.  I know they mean well but I got tired repeating the story.  Now I just say “I don’t know, I go back to the dr. on the 28th” which is all I know and the absolute truth.  They screw up their faces and look at me as if I’m trying to keep something from them.  And a lot of times it’s the same people asking me daily.  Isn’t there some kind of etiquette for dealing with people with disabilities such as a broken foot?  When I encounter someone with something wrong, I say “How you doin’?” to show I care.  If it seems they want to offer more information, fine.  Unless, you know, it’s one of those people who thrive on the attention and give you way more information that you wanted.

Just sayin’… next time you encounter someone on crutches, I promise you, they have already heard all the silly jokes AND don’t need to be reminded that they will have one big old muscular thigh when it’s all over and done with.  And it would be much more appreciated if you would just maybe smile.

Oh yeah, and if you decide to yank the door open for someone on crutches,  first make sure they’re not leaning on it for balance.

((I realize this makes me sound like a bitch. This was just a rant to let off some steam and frustration.  Mostly people are great and helpful and truly do care how I’m doing.  And I’m not ungrateful for that. Don’t take me too seriously.))

LITTLE MR. BUNNY (and the rainbows)

This little guy has taken up residence under our back porch.  Twice now I’ve attempted to photograph him nibbling on the blossoms on my Bleeding Heart bush.  Both times he’s gotten spooked and took refuge under the porch.  I’ll keep trying because it’s so cute… the way he sits up on his hind feet and latches on to a blossom and yanks his head back and forth until he pulls it free from the bush.  I hope it’s ok for him to eat them.

This morning I woke up to Mr. Moon blatantly glaring through the window into my bedroom.  It was so bright, at first I thought it was the sun and I’d overslept.  Was kinda nice waking up bathed in moonlight like that.

It’s a beautiful day here.  A little cool but the sun is shining bright and the sky is blue dotted with fluffy white clouds.

I hung a couple of crystals on a plant hanger on my back porch.  This time of day the sun is behind the house and shines on the crystals.  Sometimes they shine through the windows and there are miniature rainbows dancing on my dining room walls.  It’s so cool, I wish you could see it.  Oh wait, you can.  One of them, anyway.  It’s the only one I could catch that wasn’t moving.  The picture doesn’t do the colors justice, they are very vivid and bright.  So use your imagination.

WHADDYA SAY?

Since I’m finding myself with more free time due to the inability to do much more than SIT, I actually could be posting more… if not daily, almost daily. But the thing is that my brain must have been in my ankle and now that it’s broken, I can’t think so well.  Besides, it’s buried underneath all that elastic and hardware.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m not getting inspired to write much.  So I’m appealing to you.  What would you like to hear or read or know?  Tell me and if something clicks in my foot head, I’ll do my best to accomodate.

I’m not even coming up with any suggestions.  Everything I think of, I already wrote about.  I guess that happens when you’ve been blogging for as long as I have.

I CAN ALSO CROSS ONE EYE…

˙sǝıʇıןıqɐ ʎɯ uı ǝɔuǝpıɟuoɔ ɹnoʎ ɯǝǝpǝɹ oʇ ɥɔıɥʍ uı ʎɐʍ ןןɐɯs ɐ ǝq ʇɥƃıɯ sıɥʇ ʇɥƃnoɥʇ ı ‘sǝnssı qǝʍ snoɹǝɯnu ʎq pǝƃuǝןןɐɥɔ uǝʇɟo os ɯɐ ı ǝɔuıs