Oh… where to begin… First a little recap in case you hadn’t read my previous post.

On June 2nd,  my Mama fell and injured her hip.  This required surgery, a short hospital stay and then admittance to a nursing home where she would receive therapy for two weeks or so.  Luckily the facility is minutes from my home and I’ve been able to visit with her nearly every day.

If you’ve never had a similar experience, you understand the anxiety I experienced anticipating what it would be like to see a parent in such a situation.

Nursing homes, or the idea of them, stir up many emotions and images.  I can tell you that you’re probly pretty accurate if you imagine negative things like bad smells, lonely people,  and sights and sounds that are hard to see and hear.

The first couple of visits were real eye-openers for me.  I forced myself to “rock up” and keep my mom’s welfare at the forefront of my perspective.  Otherwise I could probly never have been able to return.  Seeing people suffer is something that tears me up.  So many sights that I’ve seen there keep haunting me and I have to consciously replace the images with more positive things, like the day we take Mom home to finish her recuperation.

I do know a couple of things for sure.  Number one, I pray that my mom never needs to return there.  Not because the care she’s received hasn’t been acceptable but because it has not been good for her emotionally.  There is no such thing as privacy or peace and quiet.  And there’s nothing like your own bed or real home-cooking when your body is healing.  Number two, I would never last a day in one of those places.  I’m not that strong.  PD and I have been discussing, at length, alternatives in case either of us are ever faced with the need.  I can’t even tell you some of the extreme measures that have been brought up, some in a humorous vein,  others, not so much.  Which brings me to a third realization I’ve had and that is this~ A sense of humor is not only desirable but absofuckinglutely crucial in the situation.

Lack of time is the only thing that’s keeping me from sharing this in a more poignant, informational and detailed manner.  I have a literal ton of things to say regarding the last 3 1/2 weeks, mostly emotional issues I’m experiencing but that will have to wait.  PD’s father had surgery yesterday and there are some things he’s going to need also.  Another story for another day…

Thanks for listening.

6 responses to “LIFE’S LITTLE SETBACKS

  1. Gosh. I didn’t know your mom had surgery. I feel like I’m way behind out here — lots of work trips lately and a jaunt up to Canada left me with little solo time here at home.

    Glad to hear you’re keeping your spirits up, at least on the surface if not elsewhere. My grandfather was fortunate enough to afford an assisted living apartment rather than live his last 1.5 years in the conditions you mentioned. Would that we all were healthy and wealthy enough to live in our own home until age 91 and then move into an apartment for that final, short stretch before dying in our sleep.

  2. You went to Canada? I’ll have to check out the blog, as I’m sure you wrote about your adventures.
    We actually chose the nursing home because of it’s proximity. With everyone’s busy schedule, it was imperative that she be close by. I never thought I would say this but I may visit some of the people I’ve met there after Mom’s discharge. Time will tell, it’s possible that I may not want to relive the experience. Not sure.
    We should all be as fortunate as your grandfather : )

  3. I cannot begin to imagine. My mom worked in a nursing home for quite a while. Some of the things I heard absolutely broke my heart. I went a few times with different groups to visit those without family or whose family had abandoned them. While their situations were heartbreaking, seeing them smile when they saw us come in was worth it.

  4. Jeff,I know what you mean about that feeling when someone’s face lights up when you walk in. Some days I wish I could sit and talk with so many of them. Because you KNOW they have stories.

  5. I hope your Mom is improving and continues to do so. Some of those places are nicer than others. Don’s Dad is in an assisted living home in San Diego, and it’s really very nice.

  6. Cas: Mom is doing great. She is home now and had her first therapy session tonight. She’s improving just since yesterday. Amazing the change in her mood since she’s home.
    Your FIL is lucky, glad for him.

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