DAY SIX (part deux)

Ok, today was not so hot.  I mentioned that the mind part is giving me some grief but I had more physical issues today than the past couple days. I have waves of irritation and everything up to and including rage that come and go when I get stressed. I’m not equipped to handle it and I cry.  It’s a helpless, hopeless feeling.  PD tells me I’m doing it wrong (he’s anti-cold turkey.)  If, in the next few days I’m not finding a constructive way to channel this, I may consider  calling the dr.  I’m clenching my teeth too much. I really don’t want to take anything or chew anything or plaster patches on myself. Not sure why I feel that way.  Maybe just stubbornness… I want to do this my own way and on my own terms.  PD and I are going to talk about it and I’ll see how I do tomorrow. I think if I could just get away from people and stress for a block of time it would make a difference.  If I hadn’t had my iPod at work today, I’m afraid that I would have caused a ruckus, and it would not have been cool.  The hot flashes have reared their ugly heads in a BIG way.  I feel like I’m needing reinforcements but not ready to wave the white flag yet.

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