Ok, today was not so hot. I mentioned that the mind part is giving me some grief but I had more physical issues today than the past couple days. I have waves of irritation and everything up to and including rage that come and go when I get stressed. I’m not equipped to handle it and I cry. It’s a helpless, hopeless feeling. PD tells me I’m doing it wrong (he’s anti-cold turkey.) If, in the next few days I’m not finding a constructive way to channel this, I may consider calling the dr. I’m clenching my teeth too much. I really don’t want to take anything or chew anything or plaster patches on myself. Not sure why I feel that way. Maybe just stubbornness… I want to do this my own way and on my own terms. PD and I are going to talk about it and I’ll see how I do tomorrow. I think if I could just get away from people and stress for a block of time it would make a difference. If I hadn’t had my iPod at work today, I’m afraid that I would have caused a ruckus, and it would not have been cool. The hot flashes have reared their ugly heads in a BIG way. I feel like I’m needing reinforcements but not ready to wave the white flag yet.
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I really think there should be rehab for smokers. I would totally go. Hang in there, you’re doing great!
Again, with the strength most wish they had. Plus, you’re using French now. See how much those cigs were holding you back?
Hazel: I am sooo with you on this and I would totally take you with me! xo
Mark: That’s funny that you should say that, I’m losing my class… (see Twitter last night) ; P
Hang in there. You’ve really gone so far.