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I woke up at 12:48 am and thought I was going to freak out.  I’m not sure if I can explain this but I couldn’t find my reality.  It scared the crap out of me. I had been having a dream but I can’t remember it so I don’t know if that had anything to do with it or not.  I spent the rest of the night waking up almost every hour bathed in sweat.  Was hellish. I never realized that your wrists, elbows, fingers and ankles could sweat along with every other part of you.

Sometimes when I don’t have a grasp on things, it comforts me to know that other people share my experience.  This morning at 12:50 when I was trying to calm down I thought, “What are the chances of someone else lying in bed like this spazzing from not smoking and feeling like they could lose their mind?”  I decided the odds weren’t as high as I would have liked.

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4 responses to “NO TITLE

  1. I hope that doesn’t happen to you again.

  2. Sounds like a panic attack. Knowing what it is sometimes helps.

  3. I’m worried about you. I have the weekend coming up off if you want to come visit. Not sure if it would help or make it worse? Find your strength, you can’t let that cigarette win.

  4. Cas: If it does, at least I’ll know what to expect and it won’t be so bad I think.

    Hazel: Never had a panic attack like that. I’ve been thinking about it a lot today and I think it’s a control issue. Not sure, still have some soul searching to do.

    JU! There’s nothing for you to worry about. I’ve been in this position before. It was different but always stressful. It’s nothing I can’t handle. If I can’t do it this time, I’ll do it next time. I have strong moments and weak moments. Please don’t worry! I’ll talk to you tonight.

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