Had an extremely lovely time with my family this weekend.  I am so very very lucky to have such wonderful people in my life.  I’m going to be concentrating on that fact with every inch of my being.

You just never know what’s around the corner.

I just learned of the death of someone I don’t know.  I don’t really have any business writing about this.  But this man’s son was killed not long ago and I can’t imagine the grief the surviving members of this family is experiencing right now.  It’s shaking my faith to the very core right now and that can’t happen.  When I’m not feeling strong in that respect, nothing feels right.  I can’t talk about this anymore.

It just occurred to me as I was selecting categories for this post that “God” and “wtf” should not be used on the same post…

Update:  found this news article.

11 responses to “BITTERSWEET WEEKEND

  1. It’s very hard to lose a child.


  2. God and wtf can go hand in hand. many a time i’ve questioned, yelled at swore at God. it’s all part of having a relationship with him. Just like any relationship here between friends and family. Eventually it works its way around to realizing i may not understand but he’s in control

  3. clarkscottroger

    (at times) I think that the most suitable analogue to God might be a mean-spirited Jethro Bodine.
    (Picture Jethro from the Beverly Hillbillies, only instead of being a good natured dope, imagine him being mean, dull witted, easily bored and all-powerful).
    “Why lookie here, Ellie Mae I done give some of your critters a fatal illness, ain’t that a hoot”?

    Not to take too much credit for such a negative view, I would reference CS Lewis. In his ‘Out of the Silent Planet’ trilogy, Lewis has the protagonist in conflict with the devil (not certain if this is Satan or just the devil). Anyway, in the course of this conflict the author has the devil acting alternately intelligently and then ‘idiotically’. The point in the story is that intelligence can be seen as a tool, perhaps it is intrinsically a virtue.

    (This all held together when I started typing), but I guess my point would eb that there is a danger is being reasonable when considering the unreasonable. God and all other things ‘not of the earth’ fall into this category of the ‘un-reason-able’.


  4. I wanted to comment on this earlier, but you know how I am, everything sounded a little too smarmy so I held off.

    God doesn’t expect us to understand what He is doing or why. Sometimes something may seem so dumb or cruel yet we don’t see the ripple that the one event creates. Sometimes we do. I saw such a ripple a long time ago, I didn’t get it at the time but as I got older and more of the consequences became clearer, I understood that part of the puzzle. That was more than likely an exception to the rule.

    Right now, we will never understand all that God has planned, but one day it will all become clear. One day we will stand before God and we will understand. I can’t wait for that day of clarity.

    K, I’m done now! 🙂

  5. Cas: I can not even begin to imagine…

    Bob: I can take heart in that. Thanks, Mister. And on a sidenote, Deux!

    CSR: Thanks so much for stopping by and for your thoughtful response. I’m taking some time to look over your blog so I know who I’m talking to before responding… Very interesting…

    Jeff: You’re NEVER smarmy. That said, I’m really struggling with this one. Do you remember the young soldier I wrote about who was killed very soon after his deployment? He was a very good friend to my nephews, Hazel’s sons. His family has barely dealt with that tremendous grief and now his father was killed in a car accident. I’m having a hard time imagining that some day this will make sense but usually God finds a way to make me understand. I need to trust in that. I’m trying… I’m in no way directly involved with these people but knowing that Hazel and her boys care so much for this family makes me profoundly sad and confused.
    Thanks so very much for your comforting words. Much appreciated, my Amigo.

  6. That guy wasn’t wearing a seat belt. Why? When so many lives have been spared by wearing then it is a crap shoot if you don’t.

  7. OMG !!! One of my co-workers was telling me about this today. She’s stopping at the funeral home tonight.
    Once again you and I are vaguely connected to one another beyond our blogs.

    Just so you know, whether you ever know what God’s plan is or not, it’s OK to yell and scream at Him. If He can handle being beaten, spit upon, scourged and crucified for those He loves, He can handle whatever you have to throw at Him. He knows our hearts and allows us to be who we are with Him. And He understands that sometimes we’re angry and hurt by what happens in our lives, or the lives of those around us.

  8. CSR: I’ve digested what you’ve said here and I see your point (I think…) I guess I’m guilty in my Catholic upbringing as viewing The Creator as a perfect, loving, compassionate Master of the Universe. It occurs to me now that there is a possibility that He could very well be all the things that you mentioned up there. And much, much more. Heaven knows, He could simply be really pissed off at all of us idiots down here so blatantly disobeying his rules. Thanks for giving me a new slant to ponder.

    Scott: You know, I totally overlooked that little big detail. Guess I got wrapped up in the big picture.

    Michael: See??? Our paths were going to cross sooner or later, one way or another. It’s magic.
    All this getting mad at God doesn’t sit well with me. Maybe that’s part of my problem. I guess it’s kind of like getting mad at your parents. I always felt guilty for doing that. Thank you, though for your consoling words. Big hug.

  9. We discussed my co-worker before this, too. When the son was killed, I mentioned that her son was friends with him.

    “All this getting mad at God doesn’t sit well with me.” because you’re “guilty in my Catholic upbringing”.
    It is unfortunate that we are all the product of our upbringing. And more often than not that includes man-made (usually religious) traditions that are meant to keep us in line with some person (or group of person’s) ideas about what a good society should look like, and how we can achieve it. Those ideas are usually enforced through manipulation of our emotions, especially guilt.
    So, I like to remind people that there is nothing wrong with breaking with tradition. God did not give us traditions. That’s what people turned His words (Commandments) into. Likewise, Jesus didn’t come to give us a new religion, but to bring us into a relationship with our Creator through Him. And relationships have their ups and downs. Tell me you’ve never been mad at PD. Tell me you’ve never been mad at Juju or Michael. And tell me that the relationships didn’t grow as a result of working through the mad-ness. Do you think your relationship with God will be any different?
    Big hug right back atcha.

  10. my word that is very sad. there have been so many deaths and so many break ups in the past year, it makes me wonder what the hell is going on. i have to trust that everything is as it should be and god is my comfort in the face of severe adversity. he gave us free will which i take to mean he doesn’t mettle in our affairs to make things happen.

  11. Michael: I appreciate that you’ve taken the time to come back and reinforce that I need to lighten up. I’m workin’ on it. I think the problem I’m having is that, in order to pull off this “mad at God” thing, I have to “see” him somehow at my level. That seems disrespectful to me in a big way. But I’ll keep at it.

    Leah: I know what you’re saying. And yeah, trust is the big thing. Or faith, which is the same.

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