HOW I SPENT MY SUMMER VACA

I didn’t.  I had a broken foot, couldn’t drive for a month and a half, had a kidney stone and a job that demanded I give up most of  my life for the last year.  I am bitter beyond belief but I will not belabor that on the blog. . .  I did not wear a bathing suit ONE time this year.  Wearing one isn’t looking good for next year either, considering that I’ve been sitting on my ass for an average of 10 hours a day for what seems like eons.  My body will never look the same.  But enough of that…

I despise pretentiousness.  Unless of course it is being delivered by a bonafide pretent.

(don’t bother looking that up, I just coined it.  From this day forward, snooty people who are full of themselves will be referred to here as pretents.  And the cool part is that they won’t know it’s derogatory.  Pretentious people usually refuse to see things like that anyway.)

Using “vaca” up there reminded me of that.  I detest certain word slaughters such as: veggie, burger, fries, (merely a coincidence that those are all foods) info, def, “congrats,” gynie, (pretent talk for gynecologist in case you didn’t know…) lingo– which is a bad shortening of language anyway and sounds particularly pretentious.

I’m not particularly fond of  demo, but I can stand it.  I’ve only recently begun to refer to my phone as my “cell” and I think that’s merely because I’ve been too damn tired to speak in multiple syllables.  “Mac” is fine because MacIntosh sounds entirely like something a pretent would brag about owning.  “Beemer” is ok with me because I think it’s funny.  B-Em-Dubya takes too long to say and reminds me of George and who wants to do that?  “Harley” is fine.  Besides, pretents don’t usually ride motorcycles.  I guess I could have used “bike” here in that case, huh.

I’m guilty of using “probly” exclusively but just because I like it.  Some people use “prolly” which I like too.  Mostly because NO ONE I know ever says Prob-ab-ly.  It’s like February.  Too hard to say.  I don’t personally have trouble saying Saturday but I know many people who insist on calling it Sair-dee and that kind of makes my skin crawl.

It’s funny that we’ve gotten either too busy or too lazy to say entire words.  In some cases, I understand it’s necessary, such as when you are Tweeting and it’s hard to fit all you want to say in 140 characters.  But otherwise, we tend to use shorter words to convey our thoughts and ideas.  But some of them just sound too pretentious.

Texting is a whole ‘nother subject with a whole ‘nother language.  But I’m not getting into that…

I’m not saying I don’t use chopped-up words, I do.  Sometimes it’s just for effect. It’s just that some of them sound stiff and snotty to me, that’s all.  I have more words- or parts of- to say and more to say about them but I’m getting kind of tired italicizing.

I will talk to you all at a later time.  Good bye 🙂

Advertisements

13 responses to “HOW I SPENT MY SUMMER VACA

  1. Digging your current blog theme.

    Also, digging this post. So, if you hate “veggie” and “burger,” then how do you feel about “veggie burger?”

    Of course, there’s “whatev.” I despise that one.

    The only problem with “pretents” is that in spoken conversation it sounds like “pretense.” Kind of like “presence” and “presents.” But with an “s” instead.

    Okay, going to bed now. Ramble mode off.

  2. oh em gee

    el oh el

  3. Mark: Veggie burger REALLY irritates me. I thought of that when I was writing. And I’m with you on “whatev” Ugh. I also thought of the sound of the word (pretend word, sorry) pretents sounding like pretense but I rarely record audio posts so that shouldn’t be a problem. I just thought of another one I detest… “No prob” – Double ugh.

    Scott: Yer funnee! …and creative. I can totally handle lengthening short things.

  4. oh god linda, I wouldn’t say I’m a pretent, but I am guilty of shortening up words. Please forgive!

  5. Bailey: OMG- you are as far from being a pretent as you could possibly be! You never need to apologize to me for anything. (Except for taking me a bit too literally! *wink*)

  6. Uuuuummm… I still say “probably” and “February” as well as “Saturday” (I think the sair-dee thing has more to do with Pittsburghese than pretentiousness). But then again, I’m THE grammar nazi.
    I’ve never thought of people who use abbreviations as “pretents”. I’ve always considered the people who like to use superfluous words as “pretents”. After all, what could be more pretentious than using an excess of words? It’s like talking just to hear the sound of one’s own voice.
    My biggest problem is actually the whole “coulda”, “shoulda”, “woulda” thing. I’m perfectly fine with people using those abbreviated forms. The thing that pisses me off is when people spell them as “could of”, “should of”, “would of”, instead of “could’ve”, etc… Don’t people stop to think about what they’re actually saying when they write? GRRRRR !!!
    Sorry. Didn’t mean to rant.

  7. I don’t even know how to spell most of the time. When I shorten, it is usually to mask that fact! 😉

  8. How’s your foot? Rotten luck.

    I agree with you. My phone is not a “cell”, I drive one of those cars, and have never called it a “beemer” Actually I call it “a small silver station wagon” most of the time, and I tend to use words rather than abbreviations. And I tend to avoid sentences with “February” in them.

    Cas
    Enjoy your day!

  9. M+: After I finished posting I felt like I hadn’t really made my point and it seems I haven’t. I was too tired to re-write (sign of a not-serious-enough blogger, I know…) I should have tried to think of a character to illustrate they “type” I’m speaking of. You know, the ones who try to be all cool-like, name dropping and using slang words. I hope you get my drift. Thank you for your insight, I understand just what you’re saying.

    Jeff: You never give yourself enough credit. Never!

    Cas: Wow! I never heard you “talk” so much! Great to hear from you and lol @ your February strategy : )

  10. I get it. They’re called “wannabes”, or “posers”.

  11. you are funny and i agree that the shortening of words is maddening, especially since we spent many a’ year getting beaten with rulers by the nuns to say words correktly 🙂

  12. p.s. i suggest you go ahead and shoot that foot off since it’s all lame 😉

  13. Piglet: I need that thar foot er I would kinsider it….

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s