… all you have to do is simply pollute my email with this kind of shit:


Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio

“To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I’ve ever written. My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:”

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

Yadda, yadda, yadda.  I left out about 2/3 of this damn thing.  Of course, it ends up with this crap…

It’s estimated 93% won’t forward this. If you are one of the 7% who will, forward this with the title ‘7%’. I’m in the 7%. Remember that I will always share my spoon with you! Friends are the family that we choose for ourselves.
Now here are my feelings on the subject of email “forwards”…
  • I do not have the time or the interest to read this.
  • If you think I have reached the age I am and have not learned any of this earth-shattering wisdom by now, you don’t know me well enough to even have me for a “friend.”
  • Did I not say to you when I gave you my email address, “I only use my mail for personal correspondence.  DO NOT SEND ME ANY OF THOSE RIDICULOUS FORWARDS.  Did I?  You bet your ass I did.
  • Don’t think I’m stupid enough to believe that my demise would or could be attributed to the fact that I did not forward an email to 7 people.
  • I can’t believe that people who spend their time cranking out this stuff can’t find anything better to do.
  • In fact, I’m getting more pissed by the minute as I realize that I am wasting precious minutes of my life addressing this stupid issue.

Now, you know me well enough to know that I’m not completely unyielding when it comes to my own rules.  I make exceptions.  If something is really funny (I mean REALLY) or amazing, and it’s from someone who knows how I feel about what is really funny or amazing, I’m not gonna get pissed.  And I have been known to send a good joke or an awesome photo.  I can’t say that I’ve never passed on a forward.  But if I did, I had a very good reason.  Mainly what I’m addressing here is mail like the above from people I rarely see and can’t remember the last time they took a minute and wrote a personal “Hi, how are you?”

Anybody with me on this?  I mean no disrespect to Ms. Regina Brett in Cleveland if there really is such a person. God Bless her if she really is 90 and has the ability to think and write. And it’s great that she wants to share her hard-learned lessons with a bunch of crazies on the internet. And I’m very impressed if she really owns and can operate a computer…

Don’t worry, if you don’t answer, nothing bad will happen to you.  And if you do, probly nothing really good will either.  But if it does, it will be for a valid reason.

9 responses to “IF YOU WANT TO PISS ME OFF…

  1. Sing it, sister.

  2. I have been known to delete forwards from my mailbox unread. Lots of times.

  3. Every once in a while I get something worth the time, but lots of stuff that just isn’t.

  4. Regina Brett's Friend

    I don’t blame you for being pissed off. I’m tired of receiving junk emails from well-meaning friends, too.

    That said, and in the interest of truth, here’s the skinny: Please know that Regina Brett, author of 50 Life Lessons, is not 90 years old (don’t feel bad – that misinformation is all over the internet), but she is indeed wise. She is actually 53 years old; she is the senior metro columnist at The Plain Dealer in Cleveland (Ohio’s largest weekly newspaper); she was a finalist in both 2008 and 2009 for the Pulitzer Prize for Commentary; and she has a book based on her 50 Life Lessons coming out in April of 2010. You can check out her website by going to http://www.reginabrett.com where you will see that all I’ve written here is true !! Regina also recently wrote a column for The Plain Dealer about “internet aging, which you can read here: http://tinyurl.com/ktdh3a And finally, you can also read all of her past columns, including the columns nominated for the Pulitzer Prize, at http://www.cleveland.com/brett

    You may now re-resume your rant.

  5. Exactly, though I don’t even forward the jokes any more, and tend to look even them up on urban legend busting sites. Regina Brett is not 90, she’s far from it, having written this column when she turned 50 in 2006. She addresses the chain letter faux pas in a column that’s far more entertaining IMO, and you can read more from and about her at her own web site http://www.reginabrett.com And this chain letter has been clogging up the net like mad since June or even May. That’s a big part of why this one and viral Youtube videos, even if they did come from something real, get annoying as heck when they get turned into chain letters.

  6. *mental note* no forwards to Wink!

    hehe, I have been known to do it once in awhile. Usually though I have a good reason for doing it, especially if it is something the person might be struggling with or be in need of a good laugh.

    Sometimes I just do it to annoy the people who always forward stuff to me.

  7. i used to be a bad, bad forwarder of stuff. i am no longer, no worries. in fact, i don’t understand the people that *still* do it. wth?

  8. Yeah, for me it’s very rare to forward anything like this. I will occasionally, but only for good reason. And usually only because something about it made me think of the person I’m sending it to.

    The ones that REALLY piss me off are the ones that seem to imply that not forwarding something means I don’t believe in God/love Jesus/support our troups/whatever. I’m sorry, but if my actions don’t already tell you that I do those things, then you don’t pay any attention to who I am as a person. And you don’t deserve to be my friend.

  9. Yes, don’t get me started on the ones that exploit religion. I get deeply offended when chain letters try to use people’s belief in God to get them passing around a drippy “friendship” message at best and a bunch of lies at worst. People need to realize that God has absolutely nothing to do with chain forwards. What’s really at work in those “Pass it around and show how much you love Jesus and what a great friend you are” chains is the con-artistry of a chain letter writer, deliberately writing something to manipulate people, and the readers’ minds doing the rest.

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