It occurred to me today

and it hurt me to my soul

I can’t hear your voice in my head.

So many questions I wanted to ask you and we ran out of time. Those last months we tried to make up for the days we couldn’t have. A hundred years wouldn’t do.

I would give a year of sunny Sunday mornings just to sit with you once again; to listen to you tell a really long joke, to watch you try not to laugh, to see you look over your glasses and complain about the gas prices. To see you sleeping in your chair, to watch you nibble on a baby’s ear, to hear you sing “Lucille,” to watch you run your silver comb through your hair.

The last conversation we had ended in “I love you too, Winker”.

But I didn’t know it would be the last time you’d say it to me. The next day you were zonked out on morphine and breathing slow and raspy. I took your comb and combed your wavy, now white, hair and told you it looked good. I knew there would be no answer. But two single tears rolled down your cheek. One was yours and one was mine.

No breath came then.

I said “I love you Dad” and put the comb in my pocket.

This is for my Dad who died along with a piece of my heart April 29, 1998.

(Repost from April 29, 2006)

10 responses to “11 YEARS AGO TODAY

  1. This sums up how people should never take the time they spend with their loved ones for granted. I’m sure your Dad has looked down on you with love and appreciation everyday since.

  2. fattiefatterton

    Beautiful tribute, my friend.

  3. I never had a dad in the real sense of the word. You were blessed with that, winkie. Thanks for sharing this.

  4. Eleven years….unreal. Thanks for this post today.

  5. I know that feeling, but it hasn’t been as long for me.

  6. Thanks to all of you for making me feel even more blessed to have my Dad. Wish you all could have known him and that you could have known him longer, Juju.

  7. What a beautiful tribute. Made me wish I got along better with my dad.

  8. Sweet. Very sweet. It’s good to have memories like that.

  9. Jeff: The best I think you can do in a situation like that is to break the cycle and insure that you’re tight with your own kids. I’m sure you agree and you’re doing it.

    Scott: Thanks and I agree, I cherish them with both hands and my whole heart.

  10. ding dang, you gotted me with this one. reminds me so very much of my dad, i feel very blessed to have had such an awesome dad. it’s the one area i was blessed in.

    much love to you.

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