X + Y = -0.00

I’m over the ranting for now.  I only have to put in 24 hours at work this week and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let what’s-her-name get me all stressed out.  After Wednesday I won’t have to see her again until next year (Jan 5) and I will rejoice each and every second of those days away from work.

In case you might be curious as to the “state of affairs” at our house… 

If you’ve known me long, you know full well that I’ve honed the Art of Procrastination into a full-fledged science.  The beauty of that science lies in its vast potential for creativity and it’s penchant for flexibility. I’m not hemmed in by a set of rules or properties.  There is a sort of formula where the x and y and z values vary from moment to moment.  For example:

5x + (-2y) = 3z

If  x = wrapping presents

and y = the amount of time between dinner and bedtime, say, 2 hours or less

z could = anything from downloading mp3 files to playing Spider Solitaire.

(Being that I was born on Albert Einstein’s birthday, I was born with a talent for developing theories and have spent my entire life testing and proving them.)

So yeah, my tree is still naked.  A cookie has not been baked and I have about $500 worth of holiday purchases piled on the dining room table begging to be wrapped in tissue, stuffed in boxes and tied up with pretty bows.  But never fear, by the time Dec. 25 rolls around, I will have broken all my previous Solitaire records and have an entire new library on the iPod.

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9 responses to “X + Y = -0.00

  1. Hazel: That’s two “ass offs” in two days. That leather coat will be yours in no time! (Notice that I’m not wrapping or decorating yet and I posted over an hour ago… tick tick tick.)

  2. My ass ain’t the problem!

  3. I still have not purchased any presents. 0 I mean it 0
    My office is decorated like the North Pole but thats because I Paid someone to do that.
    Wish me luck

  4. As Larry the Cable Guy would say….”Git-r-Done.” I never try to get into mixing the alphabet and numbers…ever. I believe they need there own personal space….hee hee!

  5. I listen to Cher on YouTube when I get stressed. Dancing around in my underwear helps, too.

  6. Linda, you always come through with a laugh when one is needed. Thanks for this post, I hope that you and PD are doing well!

  7. I love the equation!
    I’m reminded of all the kids that used to say “I’ll never use algebra in real life.” I guess you showed them…

  8. TC: I’m assuming that if you haven’t remedied that by now, that you will soon. I wish you much luck.

    Joey: Tell Larry, I will. In my own sweet time.
    Letters and numbers go together. Like me and holidays.

    Scott: The visual alone relieved quite a bit of that stress for me 😉

    Jeff: If I could make you laugh, Buddy, my day is complete 🙂

    M+: I never liked math and never will. This post is proof positive. And negative.

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