Okay, here’s the thing.

I haven’t been on here much. Not exactly because I didn’t want to be. I kind of didn’t, but it was more the fact that everything I wanted or needed to say required lengthy explanations and background and things I didn’t really want to talk about. But I got to thinking as I’m prone to do once in awhile and I thought, this is all going to come out sooner or later so it might as well be now. Every time in the past that I’ve decided for one reason or another not to blog about something, I ended up doing it anyway. Because this is my therapy. I need my blog. If I held everything in and didn’t let it out, I’d explode. I might one day anyway, but it won’t be because I didn’t have a blog.

Most of my readers are friends and family. Some are online friends on many different levels. Some I have regular IM conversations with and others I share regular and irregular emails with. And I just ended a sentence with a preposition. Some have been here since the conception of One Wink at a Time and others more recently. Or sporadic or whatever. It still amazes me that we’re here at all (communicating via this medium) and some really cool things have brought us together.

There is this strange and wonderful quality that runs through the blog world and keeps it alive. There is something inside a blogger that, for whatever reason, has to come out. Out in front of the entire world, for crying out loud. It’s a combination of the efforts of the bloggers themselves and the voyeuristic curiosity and devotion of the readers that makes the whole thing work. I’ve never quite figured out what gives me the courage to sit here and share all kinds of crap about myself on a page that anyone in the universe with the means (PC, Blackberry, laptop, whatever) has access to. Do we all have delusions of grandeur or some deep-seeded (seated? never quite worked that out) need to be heard/read? Is the relative anonymity enough of an impetus to give us an outlet for all our personal thoughts and ideas? I often wonder what is more real, the blogger or the person in “real life.” Would we all be as vocal in our daily lives if other people were required to sign in or type a password before responding? Or not speak face-to-face? I dunno. It doesn’t matter all that much really to me. I just know that my blog has afforded me an outlet I’d never had before and brought me in contact with a great number of really interesting and fun people who I’d never had the chance to talk with otherwise… People who have surprised and delighted me on more occasions than I could count. People who are amazingly willing and ready to offer a kind word when I’m having a rough time and always there to laugh with me when times are good. I hope those same people consider me when they contemplate their own positive experiences in blogging.

Now here I’ve gone on and on and didn’t even address what I came on here to say. Now I have to change the title and save it for a future post. This, I guess was just a prologue to the posts I’ll be posting in the days to come…

Uh, yeah. One of the great things about Back Porch Blogging? Watching a teeny, wee little spider crawl down under your Ctrl key. And waiting for it to come back out. Was hard to see his face, not sure what he was thinking.

6 responses to “PROLOGUE, KINDA

  1. Wonderfully said, m’lady. Or is that muh lady? Malady? No, that’s not it.

    I feel exactly the same feelings about being a blogger. Once I was a newspaper reporter and saw my words in print and knew that other people were reading them, I was hooked. It isn’t as much therapeutic for me as for some, but it does satisfy the need to composed words, sentences, and paragraphs. It’s nearly a sickness how much I love hearing my own fingers tap these damn keys. I guess in your neck of the woods you know all about that because of the Touretter’s nearby.

  2. i like it when you get all melancholy, and i love the way you’ve narrowed blogging down. i agree with you and i too find it yet, another phenomenon of the human condition.

  3. Logic Yellow

    Introspection is such a dangerous, yet rewarding thing – for me anyway.

    I don’t post so much writing these days, I’m sure thats pro and con. You’ve found a window and a vent, make the most of it.


  4. I think you do this more then you realize, start to tell everyone something and go on and on until you’re sick of writing, and then never address it…but good post, the internets are a crazy thing.

  5. Mark: Correct me if I’m wrong, Sweet, but isn’t this the second time you made a reference to that Tourette thing? I haven’t the foggiest shit! idea to what you’re referring damn! And forgive me if you’ve already es’plained it to me.

    Piglet: Glad to hear someone likes me in this mood… But I know I can always count on you, thick or thin… xo

    LY: It’s dangerous for me too. Usually. And I’m still waiting for the rewards.
    I didn’t want your present to end. The music was awesome, the vid, intriguing. How come I always get the feeling that you know and understand a part of me that I have yet to tap? It’s like, I get flashes. I don’t understand it well enough to explain it, but I have this weird feeling that you could…

    Ju: Darlin, of course I realize it and it gnaws away at me sometimes. I have no control over it, I swear… You’re just the first with enough guts to call me on it. I love you for that.
    Now what was I saying?
    No, seriously, I’ll keep up with this, I have to. For me.

  6. Awwww, we love you. And I am exactly as outspoken in real life as I am on my blog.

    BTW, I am up to Sept 2007 of your archives. Woot woot, I’m almost all caught up!!!

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