I’m feeling some pressure to post something here, even though I have virtually nothing of value or interest to share. This has probly happened only a couple of times since I started blogging. That’s frightening to me. What if I wake up some day and REALLY don’t have ANYTHING to say???!!!

Speaking of frightening, this morning on my way to work, something off to the right of my dashboard caught my eye. Of all things, my passenger airbag warning light flicked on and off a couple of times, completely freaking me out. All I could imagine was an airbag deploying as I was driving at 60mph. (Yeah, so… it was in a 45… it was 5:30 in the morning and no other cars were on the road. Just some assorted colorful roadkill. And the threat of driving with the Hindenberg in my face was enough to slow me down. So shut up.) Turns out, the tote bag I tossed on the seat next to me was heavier than usual, tricking my seat sensor into believing that the seat was actually occupied. Thanks for figuring that out for me JuJu. Your beauty is surpassed only by your intellect and deductive reasoning skills. (did i word that right? you know what I mean.)

Speaking of JuJu, she and her family are coming to visit for the weekend and I CAN’T WAIT. I promise to have pictures.

But now I must begin preparing for bed. Why do I need to prepare for bed you ask? Have I ever shared my ridiculous bed-time ritual/routine with you? Let me do that now. I’m not going to be neat or grammatical or chronological or anything cause I’m in a hurry. Before bed, this is the checklist that I go through in my brain. And usually I actually accomplish most of it. This is how I spend from 9pm to whenever, most nights. Here goes:

Make sure phone is charged. Make sure iPod is charged. Put breakfast bar, snacks, current magazine reading and iPod in tote. Put wallet and sunglasses, etc. in whichever purse I’m carrying. Fill Senseo up with water and coffee pod. Lock lid and put mug in place. Toss a bottle of water in the freezer. Check email one more time and shut down laptop (done either before or after shower depending on degree of tiredness. Before, if tiredness > 8.0) Shower. Confer with PD briefly on whether AC is coming on to determine what sleeping attire is called for. (Opt for buff, T-shirt and boxers or flannel-lined and dress accordingly. Or not.) Remove contacts and apply special anti-aging eye cream (thanks, Ju…) and quick slather of facial tanner-moisturizer. Wash hands thoroughly to prevent orange palms and fingernails. Lotion on legs, neck area and elbows and hands. Flail hands wildly to dry so I can set 2 alarms and one cellphone alarm. Throw phone under pillow. Position bedroom window to allow for night breeze if no AC on. If AC on, throw extra blanket on bed. Push button on CD player for night time serenade of Miserere, repeat all. Run down stairs to retrieve forgotten water bottle from freezer. Kiss PD goodnight and have short conversation consisting of “Love you, thanks for dinner, sleep well, sweet dreams, “happy whatever-the-next-day-is” and anything last-minute that needs discussing.” Fall, exhausted, into bed. Position multitude of pillows appropriately and place partially-frozen bottle of water on coaster on night stand beside fan for midnight sweat attacks. Dig around under pillows for reading material and get comfortable. Read one chapter. Bury book under pillows, turn off bedside lamp. Proceed to commence prayers and hope to get through list of petitions. If I’m lucky I remember everything, but usually don’t. Nine times out of ten I have to go back downstairs to take a pill or wash my travel mug. Both of which I forgot in my list. See?

So there you have it, or most of it anyway. Goodnight. I’m running behind.

12 responses to “MIDWEEK MUCK

  1. Holy crap. No wonder you’re tired all the time!

  2. Hazel: Doesn’t everybody do this???

  3. Logic Yellow

    Kinda like a human strobe? Although it’s not their best track, its a sign of quality from the homeland…

  4. BTW: Scary airbag thing.

  5. Umm, you sound almost OCD

    Not that it’s a bad thing, I’m just saying!

  6. I hope, for Mr. JuJu’s sake, that we’ll have the AC on during sleeping hours, should he make a midnight trip to the potty and run into his MIL in the buff.

  7. LY: I Love Strobe lights! Although I never aspired to actually be one… It would get tiresome being around me for long. And blinding, I daresay.
    This band is Great. Is there no end to the talent that comes streaming out of your country??? I love how this vid reminded me of Cuckoo’s Nest. Death to Nurse Ratched!

    Hazel: Disconcerting, to say the least…

    Amigo: Not me! Not me! Not me! lol. Good thing you said almost, I’d be worried.

    Ju: No worries. I make special allowances for guests. Especially the ones I want coming back…

  8. my god that’s a lot of stuff to do before bed. i have similar habits but usually when i’m leaving the house (which causes me to be late most of the time).

    you have ocd don’t you?

  9. Piglet: It’s all necessary stuff… I think it seems like more than it is, simply b/c I wrote it all down here. Not OCD, just the end result of procrastination coupled with Too Much Stuff to Cram into a Few Hours Left Over After Working a Ten-Hour Day. I hate rushing to get to bed so I can get as many hours of sleep as possible. Whatever of these things does not get done before bed, then must be done in the am causing me to be rushed in the morning and I hate that even worse.

  10. Hah. This made me chuckle.

  11. Wow! It does seem like a lot of stuff to do before bed. But as I was reading your list I was creating a checklist of my own in my head. It’s really not so bad when you have it as a routine. Everything just kinda falls into place.

    Speaking of the passenger-side air-bag; I have a very interesting story to share about my own.
    On those occasions when I take my mother to visit her family on the other side of Ohio, she has to sit with either her Bible or her purse on her lap, or else she’s not heavy enough to activate the sensor…
    I kid you not!

  12. Speaks for itself really. I don’t know.

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