After a harrowing night/day, I’m glad to report two things. I’m tougher than I thought, being that I didn’t die and the other thing being that I’ve got a clean and healthy colon. The doc even said that I can probly go 5 years until I need to schedule another colonoscopy. What a relief.
Of course I had a “complication” of sorts. Very incidental but there just never is anything that gets pulled off without a hitch when I’m involved. My IV infiltrated (I’m pretty sure that’s the word the nurse used. I understood when she told me, but being that it was before my drug-induced forgetfulness, I’m not 100% sure that was the word now.) What happened was that the saline they gave me initially (to prevent dehydration) was no longer entering my vein, it was just going wherever it wanted to in my arm. I first noticed some pain, like a dull ache, around the area inside my elbow. After a little bit, it wasn’t so dull anymore and I noticed that that part of my arm was cold to the touch. And then there was blood in that part that peeks out from under the tape. So they had to take that out and start another one in my other hand. So now I’m bruised up on both sides. Other than that, though, from what I can remember, everything else went fine. Except that they won’t let you leave the hospital until your body does a certain thing which I can’t say (Raggy!) and of course my body wouldn’t do it so we were there awhile longer than I would have liked.
I was pretty tired when we got home so I took a nap. When I woke up, I was surprised to find that PD had built a fire and cracked open a special bottle of wine we’d been saving and the neighbors H & S, who we love, had come over. So we had a rilly fun night out under the stars and laughed and totally enjoyed the night.
Lately I’ve been feeling “different…” Not sure if I can explain it but I’ll try. I’m not sure if its because I’ve had way more happening that I can’t control or if I’m just become more aware of my own mortality. (Ugh, that’s a big scary word) But I’ve been working so hard at changing my attitude toward things, like what’s important and what’s not. Trying not to care so much, trying to rise above things, trying to muster up courage and coping ability, desperately wanting and needing a change… Those kinds of things. I find myself imagining myself as another variation of me. Notice I didn’t say another person, that’s not what I mean. Sometimes I feel like throwing out all my clothes and just keeping the jeans and T-shirts. I think about dying my hair and getting a tattoo or something. Like a motorcycle. I dunno what’s going on, but my thoughts keep drifting to this stuff. Maybe it’s my inner “guy” coming out and he’s having a mid-life crisis. It will probly just pass and I’ll move on to feeling some other way. Who knows. It’s late. In the last 48 hours, I’ve been starved, drugged and now, rather tipsy on one (big) glass of wine. Maybe I better give it a rest. Going to go sit on the porch and talk to Mr. Moon and then call it a night. Thanks for listening.
There used to be a commercial for Coke, I think… something about giving the world a hug if I could. Yeah, I feel like that right now.