I thoroughly enjoyed reading all the comments on my previous post about Lester’s quote. Most of you (Jeff!) put thought and heart into your answers. It got me thinking, though, about each of our definitions of what “cool” means.

I’ve always aspired to “be cool.” Didn’t care if I turned out to be especially intelligent or beautiful or funny or sexy or talented or famous. It meant more to me to be accepted by my peers as someone interesting to be around. I wanted to know things that no one else knew. To do things no one else did. I figured the best way to do and be all these things was to fully explore everything inside of me and share the best parts with the rest of the world. What better way to be original? Sounded good at the time…

When I think of people I consider to be cool, it’s their ability to be completely comfortable in themselves that appeals to me. If the things they say and do are against the grain, it’s all okay for them. If their clothes are “different” it only means they have found a style all their own. They’re not locked in to following the crowd. They are focused on the sound of the beat of their own drummer and not distracted by outside noise. They take life as it comes at them and make it their own. And what makes them truly cool is the subtlety with which they accomplish it all. Cool people don’t push their ideas and lifestyles on everyone else. They’re content with their place and to hell with anyone who tries to make them fit some mold. By the same token, though, they respect everyone else’s rights to be their own selves. And the essence of their coolness is how they react to whatever/whomever might be “uncool.”

“Uncool” is much harder for me to define. Just as everyone’s definition of “cool” is different, “uncool” can mean entirely different things to us. From my own perspective, UNcool infringes on my peace of mind, my space, my personal tastes, my ability to live my life in the way that I’ve chosen which works for me. And how I react to the things I consider to be uncool is the defining factor that either makes me cool or uncool. I can revolt, I can turn a deaf ear/blind eye or I can accept it and move on. Or I can study it, put some effort into it and find a way to make it cool and be enriched by it somehow. (But who has time for that? ha!) Finding a good balance insures a good flow of “currency” to keep the “economy” healthy.

I used to think I had a pretty good shot at being cool. As I got older though, it started feeling like too much work. I’ve decided that cool is not something you aspire to be, you’re either born that way or you’re not. And the best that anyone can do is just work with what you got.

I had/have more to say here, but I just got word that I’m to be @ Mom’s for Mother’s Day Brunch with the family between noon and 1:00, not “two-ish.” Sh**. Gotta run!

Happy Mother’s Day to those bearing the appropriate qualities. 🙂

10 responses to “ON BEING COOL…

  1. excellent post my dearest, my nephew “more candor” taught me what cool was when he was only like 12 years old. he explained that it wasn’t what you wear or how much money you have. it’s inside of each individual.

    he’s a pisces too.

    happy mudders day!

  2. We punk’d you…..we didnt eat till what…2-230?

  3. P’let: Whatever it may be, you got it all goin’ on, sistah 🙂

    Buie: You didn’t, Gram did! I was all shootin’ for 2 like you tole me and she tole me noonish. So I busted my butt. But it worked out.
    I could have watched those home movies all day and all night.
    You were (and are) awesome! Was great to see everybody.

  4. Happy Belated Mothers Day! 😉

    Cool is a matter of perspective. One persons dork is another persons Fonzie.

  5. Oh god, I missed home movies?

  6. I’ve never really tried to be cool, just different. Sometimes that’s all it takes.

    I used to give my dad a card on Mother’s Day. He loved the joke – being the fan of Rodney Dangerfield that he was…

  7. I always strove to be as uncool as possible. Unfortunately, I was very good at it, not being cool that is.

  8. K’lar: Thanks, bud 🙂 My person’s still trying to decide if you’re a dork or a Fonz…

    Ju: Are you being facetious?
    Remember the story your dad used to tell about the girlfriend whose dad always got the home movies out when he came around so he took to wearing sunglasses when he went there…?
    I have to tell you… there was one movie when Buie was still in a highchair. It was Mike’s 12th birthday. You were all taking care of Buie, feeding him, cleaning him up; it was so cute. So we’re sitting there and Bu joked that you were a better mother to him. We agreed that he should have sent you a Mother’s Day card.

    M+: I think you pulled it off! 🙂
    My son always gives weird cards. Once on my birthday I got a card that said “Thanks to a Wonderful Dog Sitter” (or something like that…)

    Jeff: You just shattered my vision of you!

  9. Uncool, to me, is holding back what is in your innerman in fear of what someone might think. I love who I am today, good with the bad, and I believe that the things that make up my life are just other seasonings to the recipe of my life. Though things are forever changing in my life, I give a small, smerky smile from time to time instead of “wigging out” and take in all that is happening. I wish I could master this and be like that all the time….:)

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