Having traveled to NY to see the kids this past weekend, there are a few things I’ve noticed and feel compelled to share with y’all. Some are personal, some are universal. Any offenses are purely coincidental and (of course) not intentional.
- People who drive Dodges are the slowest drivers in the world. No. Wait. Let me clarify. I should maybe rephrase… Of all the slow drivers that I encounter in my travels, the highest percentage of them are behind the wheel of some sort of a Dodge vehicle. (the highest percentage of that percentage just happen to be male.) There, was that better? The worst and slowest driver I encountered this weekend, however, was neither. It was a woman driving a mint green Toyota, in the passing lane going sixty for miles and miles and promptly pissing off every other driver on the entire highway. Frankly, I would love to be the one to tell her that she’s damn lucky to be alive at this point. Grrrr.
- The quality of the toilet tissue in the restrooms on the Interstates in New York is far superior to that of the tissue in Pennsylvania.
- The chances of encountering an English-speaking person in a restroom on the Interstates in New York are lower than the absorbency rating of PA toilet tissue in a restroom on an Interstate.
- The self-flushing toilets on any of these Interstates should be required by law to come equipped with hearing protection.
- Missouri license plates are pretty.
- Anyone familiar with the Angola NY rest stop will know that you park on one side of the highway and walk over the 4-lane highway in an enclosed walk-way to reach the food/potties/etc. It doesn’t matter if you are traveling North or South. I witnessed a purple-haired, highly-tattooed, twenty-something girl come out of the walk way and approach the parking area. It wasn’t particularly crowded and didn’t take her long to realize that her car was nowhere in that lot. She looked rather disgusted when she commented to me that she must have come out the wrong side. I wonder how often that happens? And no, I haven’t done it yet. Shut up.
- Highway patrol officers seem to pull over more brightly-colored vehicles. Assumably for speeding. Maybe for clashing with the scenery, I dunno.
- It freaks me out, driving on a bridge over a lake when you look off to the side and the water appears to be higher than the road. What the hell is up with that?
- Black Volvo station wagons are cool as heck.
- There was a $0.15 toll increase on a road that is in worse condition than it was when the toll was $0.15 cheaper.
We had lots of fun with the kids. We celebrated Maddie’s 3rd Birthday and she looks awesome in the sunglasses and boa that her Nana (that would be moi) gave her. She kept “going to school” wearing the glasses and the Elmo backpack that was a gift from PD. Her favorite expression seems to be “Are you kidding me???”
Bad news is that the record store that I fell in love with earlier this year has closed it’s doors. That really bummed me out. I hate that phrase, but I was bummed, nonetheless. They were a little pricey but had a really great selection. Dammit.
One more thing. On the road, we were coming up behind a truck with a huge “thing” tethered down in the bed of the truck. This is the ensuing conversation between PD and I:
Me: What the hell is that thing? A missile launcher?
Me: (getting closer) A Gatlin gun?
Me: (close enough, but still stumped) So what is it?
He: Log splitter. I have to pee.