Each weekday I awaken at (somewhere between 5:15 and) 5:30 am. I spend approximately one hour making myself presentable to leave the house and spend 8 hours at my job and then drive home for 15 minutes. So essentially, from the time I go to bed each night… which fluctuates between 10 and 11pm… Eighteen hours are used up for work. I’m counting the 7 or so sleeping hours because I need sleep for work. If I didn’t work, I wouldn’t sleep half that much. So I get approximately 6 waking hours per weekday to take care of non-work crap and attempt to have a life. Subtract about an hour that I spend “winding down” when I get home, usually answering mail and reading blogs. More if I post. Subtract one more hour for dinner. Another for a shower or bath and bed-time prep. A grand total of 3 hours per weeknight. A trip to the grocery store or to take PD on a “movie run” leaves me with about 1 or 2 hours left to myself. If the phone rings, it dwindles more. And there’s pesky things like paying bills or watering plants or emptying trash.

Weekends are for getting caught up. Subtract approximately 14 hours for weekend sleep from 48 hours, that leaves me with 34 hours. Subtract an hour for laundry, 3 for household chores, 3 for shopping/errands, 2 for catching up on friends/family (mail, phone calls,) another 3 for personal hygiene (showers, hair, etc) and 6 hours for meals (prep, eat, clean-up x 6). That’s 18 hours. Subtract that from 34 and you have 16 hours. I figure I have about 20 hours per week, tops, that come under the heading of My Time. That’s out of 168 total hours in a week. (Is that right? It sounds awfully unbalanced to me!) Dear Lord, what if I had kids at home to take care of?

Do I sound greedy? Maybe to some. I know plenty of young mothers who would kill for a couple hours a week to have for themselves. But, geeze, I did that already. I remember how glorious it felt to get everyone in bed at night just to have some quiet time, too exhausted to enjoy it. But I’m past those years. It’s just me and PD here, not even a pet to take care of and I can’t find the time to do what I really enjoy.

If I didn’t have to work I would:

~Bake fresh bread. Often. ~Make a quilt. ~Make all my greeting cards. ~Read more. ~Visit my mom and family more. ~My house would sparkle. ~I would get back to my Poetry Group. ~I would paint. ~I would cook more. ~I would exercise like a fiend. ~All my old photographs would be in albums. In order. ~I would plant fantastic gardens. ~I would take road trips. Often. ~I would do lunch with the girls. ~Balance my checkbook. ~Organize files. ~Rearrange furniture. Often.

I wouldn’t know how to act. And no one would recognize me because I would be deliriously happy and yeah, I know what you’re thinking…

I’d find something else to bitch about. Oh yeah? Just give me the chance and I could prove you wrong.

* this is boring as hell. don’t even bother reading.ย  what? you didn’t see the asterisk???ย  aw… pay attention next time!ย 

10 responses to “TICK TICK TICK*

  1. You remind me about the difference between a job and a calling.
    You seem to have a calling to do something else, but your job – or perhaps the need to have the job – seems to be interfering with your pursuit of your callling. And that seems to be true with so many of us. But I’ll keep you in my prayers that opportunities and situations will change so you can begin anew your pursuit of that calling, as soon as possible.

  2. M+: Oh yeah. There is a difference… Since PD became disabled, it’s necessary for me to work full time so I can have medical coverage, etc. While I think I my art would provide an income, it would be risky until I got established. We just don’t have that kind of a safety net. And with the economy going in the direction it is, that’s just tooooo scary. Thanks for the prayers, Dude. ๐Ÿ™‚
    It’s hard for me to have these feelings and not feel selfish… It’s a struggle I’ve had for a long time.

  3. I didn’t pay attention to the asterisk, but it’s that time of night for me when the kids are in bed and I’m too tired to pay attention. I would like to think I’m a good enough friend to read anyway. Although all this time I’ve been thinking that I’ll have time to myself when the kids are grown…..well that’s pretty much out the window now………lol

  4. Ah time…I guess it doesn’t matter who we are and what we do but one thing to have in common is time and the big lack of it. I always wish for more “me time” too but then I almost feel selfish. The truth is, time is what we make of it and we all deserve time to do stuff that is fun and interesting. It may mean ditching the laundry for a few days and wearing those jeans twice or telling people you can’t talk long. It is tough though sometimes to manage it all.

  5. I hear ya…
    I think we all struggle with these things. But don’t fret over it being selfish. We all need to take care of ourselves at the expense of other things/priorities, sometimes.

  6. Nat: Let this be a “heads up” so you can plan your “Golden Years” (ha!) accordingly! Train the boys to support you so’s you can enjoy an early retirement ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Melinda: Maybe we just should have been men…

    Men: KIDDING!!!

    M+: Good advice from you, as always.

  7. Who is PD? How much time did you spend calculating all that stuff up? How much do you charge, seeing how I have know idea how much time sift through my fingers? Still want to know more about the art/studio…

  8. Joey: In order to get the most out of the whole experience of reading One Wink at A Time, you must go up top there and click on “U Need 2 Know.” That should answer your first question, anyway.
    I hate numbers, but I can add pretty fast. And no, I didn’t use a calculator and it took me less than an hour. Otherwise, I would have had to subtract another hour out of my already short day ๐Ÿ˜‰
    You are a nag, did anyone ever tell you that? he he
    All in good time, Mr. D., all in good time…

  9. Hey, it’s what I do…

  10. no, i didnit see no asterisk. you are tricking us aren’t you?

    i don’t think you sound selfish at all but maybe b/c i’m selfish too. no matter, we are what we are. my free time is when all these other bodies are sleeping (usually).

    i say just start with one thing on your list and just do it, see what happens. either way the days will roll by whether you are doing “a” or “b”…

    but whatever you do, don’t drink the kool aid.

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