If you’re reading this and there’s a possibility that I don’t have your birthday on my calendar, please go back to yesterday’s post and leave it there for me. Shanks.
To give a little background on the kind of day I had, I’ll tell you… I’m back on “Those Pills” again. The ones that make me extremely hormonal, tense, testy and homicidal.
There were problems at work today that affected the entire clean room, so I wasn’t the only tense person. I may have been the only one in the room that wasn’t tense due to the work issues but at any rate, there was a whole freakin’ roomful of tense people. Made for an extremely interesting day.
Not to mention that the temperatures here were 60-something at sunrise and maybe 30-something at sunset. Damn.
My mom called me after work yesterday (Tuesday) and said “Aren’t we going shawpin’ today?” Apparently not, Mom. We canceled on Sunday since I was sick
er than a dog and when I related that the news were reporting a period of contagiousness lasting 3-4 days afterward, you laughed and said, “Well I guess we can’t go until Wednesday then!” So we planned to go today. I told her I would call her after I got home from work and would be there to pick her up when we decided on a time. We chatted and said our “I love you”s and “Goodnight.” The phone rang moments later. Mom said “Wouldn’t it be easier if you just picked me up on your way home?” No, Mom. I have to drive past my house to get to yours and besides, I’d like to go home first to freshen up and have a snack.
This is going to be longer than I’d planned. The shawpin’ trip or the post? you ask. Pick one.
So I pick Mom up. Where might she like to go first? She doesn’t care. I mull over in my head all the places we need to go and throw together a plan and present it for her approval. Sounded fine to her. She adds two more stops to the itinerary and I must reformulate. Approved again. The show is all hers with one exception. I need to drop off PD’s movie rentals. We arrive at Destination #1 and shawp. She fails to find one designated item and adds one more stop to the list. Still fine with me. We next venture to Destination #2 and shawp, shawp, shawp. Lord, this woman can shawp. Approximately 1 hour into the
ordeal excursion, I notice her struggling to juggle her coat, purse and pile of potential purchases. I offer to carry her coat and purse. She resists, I insist. So I carry my purse, her 5-pound purse, her coat, and my purchases (a baby outfit, size 3 months and a pair of earrings) through the store while she tries on several items. Check out time and she’s succeeded in depleting her Christmas gift cards. Partial Mission Accomplished!
Destination #3 is dinner. I am a few light years past hungry by this time. Mom is disappointed that the dinner buffet has stopped serving. She really loves those Cinnamon Stix. I do a little arm-twisting and the waitress tells me, she’s going to the kitchen, if we want Cinnamon Stix, grab a plate and just take some but do it Now. By the time I convince Mom that it’s not a misdemeanor and the waitress will not get fired, we get the Stix a few minutes later than Now. Of course another waitress has noticed by now and rats on our waitress and she gets in trouble. But Mom is enjoying those Stix, by golly- that is, until she realized what has transpired and spends the duration of the meal worrying that the waitress will be in the unemployment line first thing tomorrow morning. I attempt to assuage the whole situation by leaving a ridiculously large tip.
Looking at the time and starting to feel the effects of a 5:30am wake-up time and the shawp, shawp, shawpin’, I feel a wee bit of the cranky coming on. Mom decides to forego the next Destination (#4) and instead go to Destination #5 and #6… which totally screws up my plan for dropping off PD’s movies. So I suggested dropping her off and (via a Major back-track by this time) returning to pick her up after returning the movies. And then on to Destination #6.
map picture I’ve painting here, we had a lovely time. I guess my point is simply that there is no such thing as a simple shawping trip. Not with my mom, God love her. And not on Those Pills.
Incidentally, if you kept up with all this, next time, you’re driving. 😉