Some of my angst is a result of conflicting emotions. That’s nothing new for me, I can remember feeling “torn” for most of my life. One of the reasons I have such a hard time making decisions is that because most of the time I can see both sides of every issue. It’s hard for me to take sides for the same reason. If you read my Pisces profile (HERE’S MY SIGN) you are aware that Pisces is kind of a conglomeration of all the other signs. There are a few things that I feel strongly about (injustice, prejudice of any kind, inconsideration, to name a few) but on many things I find myself maintaining a neutral stance, simply because I understand the good and bad points of both sides.

When I was growing up I had several groups of friends and they were at opposite ends of whatever spectrum you might assign them to. I had friends who were considered academic or intellectuals. I had my”arty” friends. I had rowdy friends. I had religious friends and (I hesitate to use this word, but…) friends who were considered “misfits”. I was completely comfortable in each of those groups. They all “fed” different aspects of my personality. I didn’t identify more with one group or another. At different times during the day or week or year, I gravitated more here or there depending on my moods or what I was interested in at the time. (Or how much babysitting money I had saved up…)

Still today, if you would gather my closest and near-closest friends and put them in a room together, I’m hard pressed to say what could take place. The only thing they could really claim to have in common would be me. Looking around the room, you would see a group including, but not limited to; at least one teacher, nurse, retiree, engineer, alcoholic, computer geek, hair stylist, world traveler, chef, cashier, actor, college professor, pilot, stay-at-home-mom, receptionist, cancer survivor, poet, musician, smart-ass, biker, bible reader, college student. Some of those are the same person, I’m just illustrating their collective diversity. Some believe in God, some don’t. Some are white, some are female, some are half my age. I’m not even going to attempt to include online friends that I have yet to meet in the flesh. Or family members I like to hang with. Now there’s another diverse bunch…

But anyway. I’m always into different stuff. I never end up completely submerging myself to a point where I would be able to say, “Yes, I’m an expert on this,” or “You can ask me anything about that.” It’s frustrating. And sometimes I completely wear myself out bouncing back and forth between A and B. Not only is my attention span lacking, I get bored easily and find myself moving on to something else.

There is an upside to this weirdness that I call my personality. I know at least a little about a lot of things. I can honestly say that if I find myself amidst a bunch of strangers, I can always find something to start up a conversation and hold up my end for a little while anyway. I’m usually okay until someone starts talking about current events or politics or television or sports and then I’m at a distinct disadvantage. It rough… most adult conversations center around those very subjects.

My ex-brother-in-law once gave me one of my favorite compliments. He said to me, “You know, we could take you anywhere and you would fit in.” The more I thought about it the more it meant to me.

But sometimes lately I’m thinking, yeah, that’s great, but maybe I would rather fit just one place and be content there for a very long time.

8 responses to “A LITTLE HERE, A LITTLE THERE….

  1. No way, that would get very boring, very fast. Embrace the way you are. I am pretty sure there are people out there that would love to be just like you.

  2. I pretty much could have written this post. I understand what you mean about wanting to fit into one place. I feel that way all the time. I understand and respect folks who believe strongly in God, although I do not. I also understand and respect atheists, although I do not consider myself one. Same with various political groups, etc. Nerds, jocks (well, not as much jocks — ha!), freaks, geeks, bible thumpers, mainstream people. I got along with everybody in high school and college (except the major assholes, and every group has at least one).

    Making decisions when you can feel for every side of an argument is very difficult, indeed. I’m with you there, sister.

    I never have a desire to stand around talking about “adult” topics like politics, either. How boring is that? I get enough of that listening to NPR every day. I don’t need that when I’m trying to socialize and relax.

  3. excellent post and use of words. i love words, they are so pretty 🙂

    this is why we basically became instant soul mates, we share many of the same traits. i’d get bored if i had to change my ways and become more uniformed.

    i think it makes for a more well rounded person and proof that you stretch yourself beyond “normal” capacities and there are not many of the world that take kindly to leaving their comfort zones.

  4. Face it. You’re just a renaissance woman. The matronly teachers from our childhood would say you’re “well-rounded,” but that sounds more like a comment on your figure than your personality! The bottom line: you’re a multi-dimensional person, which makes you far more dynamic and interesting than the majority of single-minded persons who inhabit the shallow end of the suburban gene pool. Embrace your complexity!

  5. I am lucky in that aspect, I don’t get along with anybody!

    No, not really, when I was in school I was with the misfits but now I am pretty adaptable and can fit in with darn near anyone.

  6. And this is why we all love you !!!
    Sounds very familiar, though I do claim to have more than a passing interest in some things. I’ve been called a Renaissance Man, and a well-rounded individual (Hey! No fat jokes!). But I could possibly be considered an “expert” in some things.
    Oh, the “we could take you anywhere…” comment? I’m usually told the exact opposite – “We can’t take you anywhere !!! Can we?”

  7. Wow, I can’t believe how much of this sounds like me and how ironic that I was just thinking about this because of an interchange I just had with a “certain person” in my life. I think being like this (and BTW, secretly I am Pisces too) makes us more full people and more interesting overall.

  8. M+: And that, my good man is why we get along so well 🙂

    Melinda: Hi and welcome here. Looks like we need to do lunch, huh? I feel quite a few interesting conversations coming on between the two of us.
    No need to be an under-cover Pisces. You’re in good company here. The water is fine! Choppy sometimes, murky others~ and even shallow sometimes 😉 but mostly, fine. Please come back and I’ll come see you.

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