Oh, man. Here we go again. I was afraid of this. (you probly should be too, now that I think of it…) I got that feeling again. What feeling is that, Miss Linda (or whatever you call me)? I hear you saying.

It’s that nagging feeling that lurks around in the background for months on end and when I get tired ignoring it and let my guard down, it jumps up and bites me in the a** grabs me and pulls me under. It’s a combination thing. Part restlessness, part discontent, part wanderlust and about ten other things all rolled into one. Each individual feeling is manageable and no cause for concern normally. Or in a normal person. But when it’s in me, all these feelings together, under the surface… when they commerge, (yeah, I know that’s not a word) it’s just too much for me to handle and I get crazy.

When I say crazy, I don’t mean insane. I mean like a circuit board on overload. Or a pressure cooker just before it blows. To say the feeling is disconcerting would be a gross understatement. To say it’s time for the men in the white jackets would be a gross overstatement. It’s more of a limbo kind of thing but the thought of just one more day or hour or minute in the state I find myself is just more than I think I can stand.

I rilly rilly hate to leave you hanging like this, but I had to get this out of my head or I would never get to sleep tonight. And if I don’t go to sleep right now, I won’t be worth a pint of anything tomorrow. So I’ll write more later.

(oh,btw, my header is the view through my kitchen window. i was messing with it and didn’t find time to change it… )

4 responses to “DEJA VU, ALL OVER AGAIN

  1. I know the feeling. You need to put everything that’s inside onto the table before that pressure cooker blows. As uncomfortable as it is to deal with it, it will be worse to let it fester. Your physical, mental and emotional health is at stake.

  2. For a month or so now I’ve been feeling like I could go over the edge at any moment….I’m not sure if it’s even similar to what you are feeling. I find myself just writing to get it out and it usually is a temporary fix. I feel for you and I hope you got some rest. Hope you have a wonderful New Year!

  3. Hazel is right. Let it out. It’s the best possible thing, hon.

  4. Hazel: Thank you. Your hot line answers 24/7, right??? I’ll try not to abuse it…

    Natalie: Funny that you should come here today; one of the things that’s eating at me is my scattered-brainedness and having missed your birthday. My apologies and Happy Birthday, hope it was a great one! I wish you peace of mind and you have a lot on your plate. One bite at a time, maybe? I’m probly not the best person to be doling out advice right now…

    Fab: It’s oddly comforting to have a crazy person 🙂 such as you in my corner. Thanks, my good man.

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