VARYING DEGREES OF RELIEF

  • You just almost bit your tongue.
  • The train crossing turnstile is on it’s way down but you still have time to make it through.
  • The coffee you just spilled missed your new suede shoe by a centimeter.
  • Someone you thought forgot about you, remembers.
  • You’re late for work, following a truck going 10 miles under the speed limit. He finally turns off and you make it in time.
  • The alarm didn’t go off. You jump out of bed in a crazy rush and realize it’s Saturday.
  • The answering machine picks up that call that you really didn’t want to answer anyway.
  • You find out a filling will do when you were afraid it would need a root canal.
  • You have the correct toll change.
  • Yes, you locked your purse in the car, but (thank you!) the keys are still in your hand.
  • You realize that, yes, you did close the garage door and unplug the curling iron.
  • Your blood work was normal. And your cholesterol is down.
  • You told the whole joke without messing up the punchline.
  • That deer by the edge of the road decides not to charge at you.
  • You actually got the suitcase lid to close.
  • The cd case you just dropped in the driveway didn’t break.
  • You realize that your friends will still probly like you even when you write a very lame blog post.
  • Your friends actually comment on a really lame post, saying they forgive you.
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12 responses to “VARYING DEGREES OF RELIEF

  1. Lame? Forgive? What’s to forgive? I kinda like posts like these. Makes me want to add a few things to it, almost like a stream of conciousness thing. Or a read it, add something, then pass it on to someone else.
    I shall add…
    Seeing the nail on your driveway before you back over it.

  2. Here goes. I know this is gross, but Linda, you understand my thought process……Catching your childs vomit in your hands before it makes it to the carpet! C’mon, anyone who has a kid has been there.

  3. Nice to feel those moments!

  4. Natalie, I have kids and I am sorry but in my opinion that is what my carpet steam cleaner is for! πŸ™‚

    Linda, I do forgive you, but don’t do it again! πŸ˜‰

    Hazel, whose moments are you feeling and did you ask permission?

    M+, use your own blog. πŸ˜‰

    I kid I kid

    Thank you, thank you, I’m here all week.

  5. you silly bear, this was a very neato list! i can relate to just about every single word. i locked my son in a car when he was just a wee tot, that was not fun for me. it is now, seeing as how i lock him in all the time and just laugh and laugh and laugh… (did i just say that OUT LOUD?!)

  6. Pals: You all made me laugh out loud just now. And Jeff, you want cash or drinks? Or Rolaids?

  7. Wow. Looks like Jeff has taken over this here blog! Good stuff, Jeff!

  8. Haze: It’s nice to have friends to pick up your (my) slack!

    Ju: Thank you. I think it’s temporary, I was just practicing…

  9. I so get the catching it before it hits the carpet thing. Especially since I was the one who was going to clean it up either way. It’s just easier to wash my hands.

    Jeff, you forgot to say “Be sure to tip your server.”

  10. I like the banner too. Is it one of your pictures?

  11. M+: “Be sure …. server.” lol

    Haze: Thank you. Yeah, it is. Can you read Martha’s Vineyard on the float? It’s kind of hard to read and I suppose I could enhance it but if you can read it, I won’t need to. I’m going to change it as soon as I find something I like more.

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