I’m going to blame my state of mind of late on the medication I’m taking. There is no other explanation for my behavior recently. Or rather, I should say, the way I’ve been feeling. I can’t say the least little thing sets me off, it takes a wee bit more than that, but sheesh. I kinda feel like a time bomb every now and then. One thing that’s really bothering me is that I keep catching myself clenching my teeth. That’s a surefire way to end up with achy jaws. And that would just be one more thing for me to complain about. Remember the other day when I was cranky? Well… that was just a preview for what I’m feeling the past couple of days. I’m afraid to even ask PD if it’s obvious that I’m “going through something.” He’d say something smart and I’m worried I’d haul off and clout him upside the head.
So here now, is my immediate concern. Monday morning I’m starting to work those 4 10-hour days. Feeling like I do, I’m not anticipating a good week. At all. I’m thinking it might do me some good to blow off some steam here and not start off next week in pressure-cooker mode. If you’re not up for a cranky female bitch barrage, you might want to maybe go laugh at Girls Are Pretty of something as entertaining. I’m going to outline a few things that have been especially irritating to me this week.
- Why do some people insist on speaking only in cliches, on and on an on? Example: “Is it Thursday?” “Yep, all day,” ala Einstein. My jaw is tensing… Or, as I’m relating a crazy dream I had last night, the neb-nose who butts in and says “Wow, what did you eat before bed?”
- If you ask me who sings a certain song and I tell you, don’t scrunch up your face and shake your head and say, “Nah, I don’t think so.” You asked me dammit, I told you. Next time ask your uncle.
- If you’re a waitress and you ask if I need “a few more minutes,” that does not translate into leave and never come back. Duh.
- If you’re in front of me driving and smoking a cigarette and speaking animatedly on your freakin’ cellphone, that is no excuse for not using a turn signal. So don’t get pissed if I ram your back bumper. (I didn’t ram her, it was just a fantasy.)
- If there are under-dressed teenage girls jumping up and down on the side of the road waving “CARWASH” signs who cause you to drift across the yellow line into on-coming traffic which includes me, please don’t be alarmed when I take a baseball bat and beat you about the head and
rubberneck. (Fantasy #2)
- When there are only 4 stalls and I have to pee, why must you insist on taking up a stall to change into shorts so your fat ass won’t sweat on your way to your car? It’s a ladies room for crying out loud, and although I don’t care to see your ratty underwear, most women don’t care.
- I only picked up one item in the grocery store. Way at the back of aisle 732. Why does it wait until I’ve been standing in the checkout line for eight and a half minutes to show no price?
Why, after all this “getting it out” do I only feel moderately less irritable? I don’t like feeling like this. And I hesitate to post about this because I don’t want anyone feeling sorry for me. I know this is selfish, I know it’s temporary. I know I have lots to be thankful for. I’m just mad that I gotta take these pills and not only are they making me miserable, I feel sorry for anyone who has to be around me. And you reading here. So if you want, just pretend you didn’t read this and I promise I won’t check the site meter to see if you dissed me 😉
A little heads up… I still got a month or so to go of this. Consider yourself warned. And I apologize in advance.
OH YEAH, if you’re interested, there’s an interview with Meat Loaf on A&E Private Sessions to be aired Sunday August 19th at 9am. You’ll have to figure out your own station and time zone. Sorry.