TOFFEE NUT FRENCH VANILLA

I very nearly did this one day a few weeks back.  So when I did it today, the first thought that came to me was, you had your warning and you blew it…

I finished up all the laundry last night so I wouldn’t have to worry aboot what was clean and what wasn’t when I start packing for our weekend trip to NY.  I made sure I washed my favorite blue nylon windbreaker to take to wear to the Falls in case (ha ha) it’s windy.  I didn’t really have a lot of laundry to do because when I tried on last year’s summer clothes over this past weekend, much to my chagrin, I found that only two pairs of shorts fit.  And no, it’s not that they were too big.  And it’s not that they were too tight.  Some wouldn’t budge past my hips and the ones which did, the zippers were spread so far apart you could hear my groans echo much like I imagine would reverberate through the Grand Canyon.  So much for the freakin’ cappucino diet.

So my guest room looks like a fitting room at the end of a buy-one-get-six-free sale at Macy’s.  There are piles of winter clothes that still need to go to the attic.  There are piles of clothes that fit and need to be packed for vacation at the end of the month.  There are piles of “maybe before summer ends, the muffin top will dissipate” clothes.  There is a pile of clothes for the two girls at work who are skinnier than me.  (Actually that group is growing every day.  Skinnier than me girls, that is.)  And of course The (ever-present) Ironing Pile.  As if those weren’t enough, all over the bed are the clothes that I really like that fit beautifully last year and don’t now so they just got ripped off and thrown wildly in a fit of rage. thrown haphazardly on another pile.

Anyway, back to what I was saying.  It looked a little like rain this morning when I left for work.  So I grabbed aforementioned favorite blue nylon windbreaker just in case.  Luckily, it didn’t rain at all while I was there so after work, I leisurely walked to my 300-degree-plus car which blew me back like a blast furnace when I opened the door.  (Since it looked like rain, I’d left the windows all up.)  I had my arms loaded with a pile of cds, my coffee-filled travel mug, my purse, a magazine, a dvd in a bag that I’d lent to a friend last week, my favorite blue nylon windbreaker, my purse and an envelope full of a half inch thick pile of fucking bullshit  401K information from HR.  As I said, the car was phewy hawt hawt hawt.  So I dumped what I could on the car seat, put my mug on the roof and began to root for my keys.  I put them in the ignition, turned and reached up and pushed the button to open the moon roof  thinking to myself, hot air rises, this will cool off in no time.  Instead, a travel mug of coffee with the slider thing in the open position rained down nice hot brown coffee all over my clean favorite blue nylon windbreaker.

I most likely won’t get a chance to post before we leave tomorrow.  So, y’all have great weekends.  And be safe if you travel.

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5 responses to “TOFFEE NUT FRENCH VANILLA

  1. Now that is funny. In a “but I’m sorry it happened” sort of way.

    Can’t write comedy better than real life.

  2. son of a gun, i do stuff like that all the time. i once placed my coffee cup on the back tire of the truck and forgot. needless to say, it blew the tire.

    in addition, i am always carrying LOADS of crap in and out of the car. so i don’t have to make that extra trip by god.

    have fun in ny, it’s a purty place up that’a ways.

  3. Mark, oh, it was funnier than anything. As it ended up, I needed to do a little more laundry last night anyway, so my favorite blue nylon windbreaker is clean once again.

    Piglet, why am I not surprised? 😉
    One of my pet peeves is always having to lug shit around. And then having to juggle everything to find the key and unlock the door when I get home. That riles me to no end.
    Thanks 🙂

  4. Pingback: PressPosts / User / krissybunny / Submitted

  5. What the heck is this up here??? ^

    And Piglet, what happened to your face? You’re scaring me.

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