20/19* (retry)

Looking back over the past year of being 50 is having several different effects on me.  Not all positive.  In fact the mere fact that it has sped by with Mach 1 speed is something that I’m having difficulty swallowing. 

In the positive sense I’m elated to be able to claim that I have indeed (or very nearly) survived the half-century mark. And pretty much intact.  Possibly minus a few more brain cells, but my body parts are all accounted for.  Most of them still function satisfactorily.

If ya’ll recall, I was pretty excited to celebrate my fiftieth birthday. It seemed exciting to me. I felt that my head was in a pretty good place compared to some friends who were completely dreading the event.  It helped tremendously that I was planning a vacation to celebrate, too.

I recall experiencing a wonderful clarity in my thinking that came to me last year at this time.  It was as if my brain opened up like a new window with a playlist all laid out for me to look at, consider and then go about organizing.  I could delete old worn out songs, move the great ones to the top of the list, download what I wanted to hear and disregard the rest.  Then as the year progressed I kept adding new and interesting music to the list.  Now I find myself back at square one with all this music and no time to organize.  Dammit.  Some of that clarity has stuck but some has gotten all muddled and fuzzy.

I spent the afternoon on Saturday with a great friend who I hadn’t seen in awhile.  She is one of those precious people who help me look at my life and to some degree, put things in perspective.  She’s known me since I was in my early twenties and often reminds me where I was and how far I’ve come.  And always in a positive light.  She’s a frustrated artist like me and understands my journey to fulfillment.  Cool thing is, she’s a few years ahead of me on the road and helps me plan ahead for pitfalls and what to look forward to.  The time we spend together always helps me to reinforce the idea that I’m where I need to be, for the time being anyway.

My friend gave me this photo that she’d taken the last time we were together.  Thought I’d share it with you.  I would have liked it to be nestled within some text instead of just floating around here, but I’m still learning WordPress…  And only God and WordPress know where it will show up when I click Publish.



There was more to this post, it’s long gone now from my brain and my dashboard.  It was aboot reincarnation and a theory that we map out the plan of our lives before we are even born.  It’s probly better it’s not here.  I don’t imagine you guys are as open-minded aboot that sort of thing as I am, being a Piscean and a dreamer and not living in reality as I do…  It was interesting anyway.

I was giving the hamster/tape thing some thought.  I can’t imagine there are sickos out there actually binding and gagging innocent rodents with electrical tape and then having their way with them. Please tell me it isn’t so.  I only recently, and not by choice, learned what some freaks do with eels.  I was all like, wtf?

* less than 20/20

8 responses to “20/19* (retry)

  1. Nice pic, Linda.

    Is your right hand holding your scarf?

  2. Mark, once in awhile the written word is horrendously inadequate at conveying the nuances and emotional mood of the speaker. In that regard, sometimes I am excrutiatingly frustrated by the empuzzlement, not knowing or even able to figure out what the speaker is referring to by his or her question. I looked at the picture, and I’m afraid to know if you were indeed, getting at something. Although it’s not a terribly clear picture, I am almost totally sure that my right hand is clutching a pair of black leather gloves with bunny fur lining that you can see at the cuffs. That’s what you wanted to know, right? I’m pretty sure it’s not a hamster.

  3. Please forgive me. This is the version I have heard.

    Why do you wrap up a hamster with electrical tape?

    So it won’t explode when you **** it.

    Please don’t think less of me and um, feel free to delete this comment if you want to. I won’t be offended.

  4. Alvis, I admire your, um, honesty. And your comfort level here- that makes me feel, um, fairly comfortable. 😉 The visual, I’m not so comfortable with. Who can fit into a hamster? Comfortably?

  5. New Playlist! Good for you! mine is out of control

  6. Well, to me it looked like you were doing a wide pinch on the scarf. Now that you mention it, I barely see the gray fur lining from the gloves.

  7. Ok, Mark. Now that we cleared that up, you can stop studying my, um, area there.

  8. I’d be interested to hear about this theory you speak of.

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