It’s a pretty morning, not yet unbearably hot. Had the required coffee on the porch with the birds and my out-of-control wild flowers. Happy to find some quiet Think Time. Sorted out some issues; what I do and don’t have control over. What I can change and what I can’t. Sadly found that the list of things I can/do is much shorter than the list of things I can’t/don’t. And this godforsaken hormone pill that I’m on is narrowing my options down quite a bit. One more week and I’ll be off it. Thank you God.
I can’t get control of my sleeping life when I’m waking up
a thousand freakin’ several times a night drenched in sweat, feeling like my skin is about to combust. It can be quite a challenge, rolling all over the bed trying to find a cool spot that my body hasn’t cooked. Then you wake up in the morning needing another shower which severely cuts into the pared-down-to-the-minute, absolute-minimum amount of time needed to get ready for work. When you lose sleep all night it becomes very important to sleep every possible minute you can. See why I’m feeling I have no control? As a courtesy to PD and his sleep time, I’m bunking in the guest room. Do I miss the snoring? Well, um… No.
My waking life. Eight hours of that is job. If you count getting ready, road time and recovery after, it amounts to 11 hours. That’s just me. The part of that that I control? Not a lot. You see I work in a clean room, a controlled (ironic, huh) environment. You know, that big white room that’s all sterile-looking, temperature-controlled, full of microscopes, computers, cameras and a bunch of people in white suits with hair covers and gloves and shoe covers… It’s not claustrophobia-inducing or anything… yeah, right. And I’m Oprah Winfrey.
Lots of restrictions when you work in a clean room. No make-up, no nail polish, limited jewelry, (only a wedding band, smooth with no grooves or stones, only earring studs, no hoops, etc.) no hairspray, no cologne, yadda yadda yadda. You suit up in a change room in a neck-to-ankle suit made from polyester and carbon but seems like just nylon. It’s the absolute best material to hold in heat when you experience a hot flash. And sticks to your skin perfectly. Holds moisture? Sure! And in a 66 degree room, the after-flash chill factor is the most comfortable state a body can attain. Add a gauze hair net, safety goggles, latex gloves and vinyl shoe covers. Oh my Lord. How do I do this? When our company switched to making the product that we do, in this new environment, a lot of people quit. A lot of other people went on anti-anxiety medication. Honestly.
Ok, I think I’ve established that I feel a little out of control in that aspect. Follow with the fact that, on any given day I will show up at work and be told that “today we need you to fill in in this other job/department…” Okay, I really don’t have a problem with that at all, it’s just that, now with all this upheaval I have going on, a little predictability would go a long way. It’s not that I don’t like my job. It’s close to home, I’ve got 11 years there (only the last one in the clean room and that was not by choice…) a terrific benefit package and little or no weekend hours. To leave there with my experience and skills (or, rather lack of) would be foolish. I would have to start all over earning what I make and the vacation hours I’ve got. So no, I’m not going to include my job under the heading of Things I Can Change. Not at this point anyway…
Okay, enough spilling my guts for today. Stay tuned for future episodes.
I’ll leave you now with a little funny story.
Recently while grocery shopping, I was walking past the ice cream section in the store. There was a tall, normal-looking guy who appeared to be in his mid-thirties standing in front of the freezer doors, intently looking in at the enticing array of ice cream brands and flavors. Right hand up to God, he was naming flavor after flavor out loud and I swear if it was humanly possible to make love to ice cream in the middle of a grocery store aisle, he’d have been going at it. Was quite amusing. As I approached him, I said “Wow, you really like ice cream…” It was when he turned his head to look at me that I noticed the Bluetooth stuck to the side of his head. As I skulked away, face reddening, I heard him laughing and saying “Some chick just walked by and said…”